For every stitch, there's a story!!!!

“Wake up, Sab … wake up” I whisper as I continuously pinch myself trying to snap myself back into reality, this can’t be real, you cannot be at the MGM Grand in the front of the stage of the 2012 Billboard Awards, this has to be a dream. As I glance around at the entire arena behind me, I notice the arena beginning to fill up. “15 more minutes to show time ladies and gentleman, 15 minutes” the production manager yelled trying to get everyone into the arena. “Where are all the celebrities Lee said, this random guy who was at the stage with me” He was concerned “I live for these celebrities” he said, I’m sure they’ll be here I whisper, still convinced that this was a figment of my imagination. As I listen to him ramble about everyone he was dying to see, I began to analyze and take in my surroundings. The stage which was remarkable, the seats which were very close, and the size of the Grand Arena took me by surprise. I was expecting this place to be the size of the New Orleans Superdome buuuuut instead it was the size of a high school gym. Ok Ok I’m exaggerating, it wasn’t that small but the statement the camera adds 10 pounds is indeed correct. It’s amazing how the camera can trick you into thinking the venue is holding one million people when in reality it’s actually holding 10,000, you catch my drift? It was small, beautiful setup, impeccable design buuuuut very small and very close. “10 minutes until we are LIVE people, 10 minutes until we are LIVE” the production manager yelled again to notify us that the show was about to start rolling. “is that Melanie Fiona?” some white girl standing next to me who I was having random conversations with on & off asked, mind you she pointed out a dark skin girl with a multi-colored dress and a bad hair weave …”right there third row, you see her? is that Melanie Fiona?” “Umm Melanie isn’t that dark so no” I said “you sure, I swear that looks exactly like her” the girl kept saying, by this time I began to get a bit annoyed because the girl looked as much like Melanie Fiona as I look like Jennifer Lopez. “I’m pretty sure it’s not her, ok …carry on” I hissed. Just as I rolled my eyes, there began the parade of celebrities coming from backstage walking to their seats. Out first was John Legend looking oh so fine in his suit and his fiance being escorted to their seats. Look at John, he’s so dreamy, lol” I fluttered. Next, floating in like an angel was Carrie Underwood so graceful in her gray long fluffy dress. She waved and spoke to us as if we were her friends she seen last week. Right after Carrie Underwood, the stars were walking in as if they were on bourbon street in a Mardi Gras parade, they were all marching to the same beat. Usher walked in dressed to impress with his tailored baby blue suit followed by Justin Beiber and his white boy swag. They waved and took their seats, next came Brandy and her beau gliding in unnoticed. “Look Lee it’s Brandy, you said you wanted to kiss her feet right? Have at it, we’re close enough” I said lmao all he could do was look. Brandy was beautiful and her hair was this curly afro that was different and cute. “Oh, I’ll have my chance later” he whispered, I just laughed. He was a sweet guy hit by the celebrity bug …”oh ok, we’ll see” . Next walks in Taylor Swift with this long red gown just flowing as she walked. Very goofy she danced to her seat following the beat of the music played in the arena and she waved shyly as if we caught her doing something naughty. “Lowkey, I’m bout Taylor Swift I said to Lee” “me too, he yelled” We were just watching the parade of stars fall in. Katy Perry and her beautiful purple hair and her purple gown, walked in with her 90 year old grandma, Jordan Sparks walked in with a guy on her arms, she was beautiful and the most anticipated act all night. Everyone from the production team, to the camera men, to the sweepers were beaming about how well Jordan Sparks did during dress rehearsals when singing Whitney Houston’s song, “oh she tore the houuuse down the camera guy said” I couldn’t help but to laugh, he sounded his age. After Jordan sat down, in walked Wiz Khalifa an Amber rose. They were hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, in love. It was refreshing to see actually, she was beautiful, beyooooond beautiful. Wiz had a Kool-aid smile plastered on his face as if he was the happpiest man on the earth, he was clinching Amber Rose’s hands like she was the last breath of life and if he let her go, he would die. “WIZ” this asian girl behind me yelled, He gave her a salute and went on to his seat. As the stars were sitting they began conversing amongst themselves, saying Hi to people they knew, blowing air kisses, smiling, it reminded me of the many events I use to attend at Alabama A&M. “5 more minutes people, yes 5 get ready” the production manager was on point with his timing. Who is all those big black men Lee said “what men?” Who are they around? *Gasp, omg it’s Gladys Knight” Lee said. “Why does she have all those security guards around her, where she think she going to Walmart? nobody gone do her nothing in her lol she high maintenance” I said I couldn’t help but wonder why Gladys came in with 10 men ready for war. As everybody was paying attention to Gladys Knight, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz snuck pass and sat directly in the seats in front of my face. Alicia Keys was drop dead gorgeous and Swizz Beatz in his all white suit and his fedora hunnty they were beat. I couldn’t even hate on her, she was bad. They sat down and then the camera yelled 2 mintues, everyone be seated. As soon as the show started, everyone was in their seats focusing on the stage. 

“We Live” i yelled to Lee lol yeaaaaaaaaah next thing you know LMFAO was on the stage PARTY ROCKING right in front of my face, giving me all types of LIFE…they were all the way HYPE!! Taking off their clothes, throwing stuff in the crowd, they really opened the show with a bang, it was fun, I was not a big fan of their song until that performance. I was fist pumping, waving my hands, jumping up and down, the white girl in me came out and went all the way in. I was hypppppe and I didn’t want it to end. Right after they left he stage, we were back on commercial and in walked Monica and Shannon Brown hand in hand cheesing from head to toe. They were super cute and they looked super happy, as they were escorted to their seats. When the commercial’s were over the hosts, two of the most awkward and uncomfortable people alive was chosen to host the show and I ask with all the L-O-V-E in my heart… WHHHHHHHHHHY??? They are beyond funny on modern family but live on television during an awards show, they sucked major ass. I felt like my eyes were being pulled out every time they touched the stage, it was treacherous, Where was Ellen when you need her? 

Thankfully the hosts were the only dull moments of the show, my favorite parts of the show I must say was during the commercial breaks. It was in those moments that I met Brandy, shook her hand and spoke to her face to face. It was during that time that Robin Thicke walked on the stage to learn his part before the cameras were rolling and I damn near fainted because no one told me he was going to be there and boy was he charming. He flashed his pretty man smile when I said his name and blew me the kiss that I would never forget. mmmmmmmm I’m thinking about how dreamy he is right now. If he wasn’t married, I’d husband him up real quick hahahaha. During the commercial breaks I spoke to Usher, Alicia Keys and Switzz, talked to Gladys Knight told me she loved me right before she was learning her part, saw Whoopi Goldberg and spoke to her, chatted it up with Miley Cyrus, shook hands with Gavin Degraw, talked to Wiz Khalifa, spoke to Nelly Furtado, pretty much everyone. I was told by Switzz, Usher, Justin B and John Legend that they digged my outfit as well as numerous people in the audience and the crew. Every one was just so nice and pleasant. 

When it comes down to performances, I must say that Kelly Clarkson did an impeccable job. Ceelo Green tore the house doooooooooown, his performance was so innovative and different, the entire time Ceelo was performing he was right in front of my face. I was looking at him, he was looking at me, we were looking at each other. Up close Ceelo looks like a Bulldog, his head is extremely large for his body and his eyes, he just kept bucking them lmao. None of what I just said takes away from the fact that Ceelo can sannnnng his ASS OFF and he Sang his ASS OFF that night, Ceelo gave me Everything but a free 2 piece from popeyes. Chris Brown’s performance in my opinion was a NEGATIVE and let me tell you why. For one ol dude was Lip Syncing…YEA I SAID IT!!!! You a fool if you think otherwise. Watching dude live, his lips stop moving a couple times and the record was still playing, I lost mad respect for him for that performance because not only did he lip sync but he def took some of pink’s performance from the AMA’s soooooo yeah. On the scale of 1-10 his performance got a 1. As a person right before he accepted his award when it was on commercial break, he was very chill, relaxed and talking to us normal, so I give him respect for that but that perfomance. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh NAH. Now Usher’s performance *crickets* I have no words. I’m at this point in my life where I feel like Usher needs to have several of these __/. I mean dude tried so hard to dance on that stage, I thought a lung was about to collapse how hard he was breathing. Usher ain’t got it, he lost it and he really needs to stop trying to find whatever it is that he lost, ole boy is tired, He needs to pass the torch to Justin B and let it Be. Speakkking of Justin B. I loved his performance, everybody I swear in the audience was vibing, I saw Taylor Swift grooving, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz, Monica and Shannon, Carrie Underwood, and Katy Perry all getting it. Justin B did a really good job, “If I was ya boyfriend, never let you goooooo” lol. Of course the Whitney Houston tribute was EVERYTHING, Jordan Sparks and John Legend did an impeccable job and I have no words for that Bobbi Kristina. She was high as two kites, all during commercial breaks she was figetying and breaking out in random crying spurts. It was the most interesting thing I have ever seen. Pat Whitney’s sister-in-law just saw there stone cold the entire time, hard up no emotion, not even when Jordan and John was singing. I was sitting their crying crocodile tears and she didn’t shed not one. Whitney’s brother Gary was just as cold as he just sat in a daze. It was the most horrible thing ever. They had no interest being there and accepting something on behalf of Whitney but they had no problems running to Lifetime to start a reality show their releasing in the fall, pitiful. I will leave my thoughts about them here because this will turn into something other than about the Awards. The Wanted and Linkin Park were interesting, I wasn’t really familiar with their music but all the people around me were freaking ouuuuuuuuuuut. Nelly Furtado did a pretty decent job performing although I didn’t understand the Indian costumes and the hula hoops, totally and utterly confusing I must say. Katy Perry had scariest performance ever, everyone looking at her trying to see if she would fall off them curtains. She was twisting and flipping and signing and dipping, it was really mythical, like something out of an anime film or something. The new artist’s performance Carly Rae Jepsen was really cute and refreshing and I digged her song “Call Me Maybe”, she was signed by Justin Beiber’s label so she should be hitting the scenes soon. The performances were exciting, I was jumping up and down, dancing, getting in it all through out the show. They could have kept that Donna Summer tribute by Natasha Bedingfield, she was not her best and her vocals were choppy. It’s ridiculous, maybe because they rushed it but I hope that the BET Awards give her the justice she deserves. The final performance that closed out the show was Stevie Wonder and Alicia Keys, that was thee most inspiring performance ever. I was in the presence of a living legend, It was the most humbling experience ever. He gave his words of wisdom, played music with Alicia Keys and had everyone in the audience on their feet. It was an eye opener listening to Stevie Wonder preach about spreading love and that being the most influential and important thing in the world. I mean, how often will it be that I have the opportunity to stand in the presence of Greatness and listen to him reveal the most inner parts of his soul? NOT OFTEN, I consider myself blessed. 

By the time the awards show was over after Stevie’s part I was on Cloud 9, I don’t think I woke up. I had been lifted higher and I wasn’t coming down. While walking out after all the celebrities left, I ran into Tina from Mary Mary’s husband Teddy and we chit chatted and joked for a few minutes, I dig him because I adore Mary Mary’s reality show so that was like the icing on top of the already perfectly whipped, filled and creamed cake. This event was the best event of my entire life, no lie. I have never felt so inspired and ready to go after the dreams that I set for myself. It made me want to just thrive and achieve all the things that I visioned. It just gave me the extra “umph” I need to do what it is I need to do. I went to Las Vegas Solo Dolo, slept in the hotel by myself, went on the strip and walked to the awards show by myself. It was a very humbling experience. It showed me that I don’t need anyone else to do all the things I have dreamed of doing. As long as God has my back and Jesus is my fence around me, I can go anywhere and do anything that I want to do. I met some amazing people at the place that I hope to connect with again. It was the best time of my life. I don’t have any pictures, we were encouraged not to have cameras in the MGM Arena so I followed the encouragement. I do have a really decent playbill and a lovely picture of me leaving the hotel. By the time I got to my room, I crashed. THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ABSOLUTELY BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.   

OH yea when LMFAO was walking to get their awards, they fell up the steps, I think they might of edited that out or didn’t show that on camera but it was by far the funniest thing I had ever seeeeeen in my life. I couldn’t contain myself as I laughed literally a half of an inch away from them. Good thing they were jokesters because they just laughed it off and accepted their award. They were cool people. It was a cool event, it was great show. 

I tried my best to explain what happened and my experienced the best way I can. It’s really unexplanable. I have no words for the feelings I felt when I was at the show. I felt like I was in a dream the entire time, It felt unreal. It was AMAZING, IT WAS TOTALLY AMAZING. YOU HAD TO BE THERE!!

Thanks for reading…

I’m signing out exhausted, 

Comment below, if you want me to break down anything else, I will. 

Thanks for listening

Sabrina Cates (Sab)

Today I will be in the audience of the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas :))) If you see a BIG mustard color bowtie in the audience, it’s me :))) I am beyoooooooooond excited!!

So today George (my father) decided to randomly text me about his feelings for my mother (who has been dead 14 yrs now). He said He loved her always have always will, but somehow my mind just couldn’t comprehend. It’s like that saying “appreciate someone & show your love for them while their here because you’ll regret it if you don’t when they’re gone*. After I read the messages, I thought about how when my mother told him she was pregnant, He left her and how for the majority of my life he was a wish that one day my father would care that he made me with my mother. I thought about how poor we were & how much we struggled and how the only presence I felt from my father was once a month when that child support check for $50 a month came in the mail & what a cold presence it was. I thought about how sick my mother was and how I literally watched her die in front of me and he was never there. I thought about how many times she was rushed to the hospital because something failed and he never came visit. I thought about her funeral and how he he was nowhere in sight. All those moments flashed in front of me and I felt sick. I couldn’t wrap my mind around his logic and I couldn’t grasp what he felt. Certainly someone you always loved deserved better treatment, I’m sure. Certainly she deserved his care if he loved her. I didn’t want to think of these things, I didn’t want to say anything, so I didn’t. I just let his text linger on my phone as I stared down at the words. Maybe he had a come to Jesus moment, maybe he feels bad, I’m not sure. Whatever it is, I’m not ready for his confessions I can’t deal with his deep feelings. I don’t want to, hopefully he never text me anything like that again. I’d like to keep trying to build our relationship, not damage it. I love George, I’m just not ready to feel anything or hear his regrets about my mom. Let her rest peacefully where she is. I promise this has been an emotional, shocking week. Blah. Getting out of my head now. Goodnight!

Sab

silentmorningchild:

I’ve been living life all wrong
Worrying about the scars
What happened to the girl
Who smiled at everything
And felt so carefree
With the soul of a gypsy
And a heart of hippie
Dreaming of the roads
Driving without a sense of destination
What’s wrong with me?